Jost's Journal Entry

Instead of Fangirl Friday, I decided I would share with you guys my little take on a scene found in Crewel by Gennifer Albin! Hope you guys enjoy it! Altered will be released October 29th!

NOTE: Will Contain Minor Spoilers. Proceed with caution.

Jost POV

I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset. I was just very disappointed at her. If I was mad at anyone, it was with him.

She was laughing. Laughing. Erik had never been funny in his entire life! I really just wanted to punch that easy-going smile off his face.

There was a time where I probably would've laughed at his lameness too. But that was a long time ago, where I thought nothing could ever separate-

"How do you two know each other?" Adelice asks, snapping me out of my malaise.

I freeze and stare at her wide eyed. No, there's no way she could know. She couldn't possibly know that we-

"You said he sent you..." She trails off, looking between the two of us, and I could practically hear the gears turning in her head.

Say something idiot! My head screams. But I can't. I'm stuck. She knows- "Jost is the head valet," Erik informs loudly. He looks at me briefly, but I could see his anger- and his fear. "When I couldn't come to your cell, I asked him to attend to you."

Adelice nods and Erik quickly changes the subject. If I wasn't so shaken up by her near-revelation, I would've listened with awe at how effortlessly he changed the subject. 

But, I have been living with him for three years now. I'm so used to him being swift and smooth with other things, what's a little change in conversation? 

Adelice, a voice whispers. It's Adelice.

Yes, it was her. She's the reason why I had any particular interest with their exchange. She's smart, she's different. She doesn't deserve a pretty lap dog that doesn't even know the meaning of loyalty.

I wanted to scream at the top of the lungs. I wanted to tell her she didn't deserve him, that she shouldn't be anywhere near him. He's no good, he doesn't care- he didn't even go home to check on his family when his mother died.

I was shaking with anger and jealousy, my fear now forgotten, as he escorts her to her cabin at the rebound station. But as I look at the two of them, I see her relax as he guides her. She looks safe, she looks sure. I almost feel guilty for being upset with him.

Almost.

When I enter the cabin, I slump in my chair and close my eyes. My serene state only lasts for a few minutes as I hear him come in, followed by the stewardess. After being strapped in, she leaves us together. It was a good thing we were both tied down in chairs.

"You messed up out there," he said after a few moments of silence. "Why?"

It takes me a few moments to answer him. "I don't know," I reply honestly. "I really don't."

He stares at me with haunting blue eyes similar to my own. "It's okay you know," he reassures me, and suddenly, I feel like I'm five again. I bite my lip and give him a distainful look. Who was he trying to fool? 

Erik let's out a sigh. "Jost," he says slowly. "It's alright. She doesn't know."

"You sure?" I snapped.

He nods, but his face looks troubled. "For now," I say his unspoken thought. 

"For now," he repeats silently to himself. "But, if it makes you feel any better she caught me off guard too."

I snorted. "Yeah, I know, you had that same look on your face when you found out that I'd put your hair in pigtails when we were ten."

He frowns, but I can hear the amusement in his voice as he says, "Well, you looked like you had just peed your pants in front of Rozenn all over again."

Usually, I would've been upset over the mention of her name, but I found myself laughing. I was even more amazed as he started laughing with me.

"Thanks for saving my ass out there," I tell him silently. "I really appreciate it bro."

He gives a ghost of a smile. "Don't mention it," he replies. "Literally."

And around us, the room begins to shimmer and fade, along with this moment.